I’m struggling, struggling to write here and struggling with anxiety. Weirdly, when we were in proper lockdown, at the beginning of all this, I was ok. But gradually, as things have relaxed, I have been getting more anxious (I’ve had anxiety in the past, so know how to deal with it).
We are very lucky down here in Devon, that figures were low and the majority of people adhered to what we should do. But as things have relaxed, some people are not so careful and it being summertime, there’s far more people here too. Apart from one trip into town to go to a couple of independent clothing shops (just me and the owners in there), I still don’t go to any shops other than the farm shop, a fortnightly trip to Tesco for toiletries and cleaning stuff etc. and the occasional trip to the garden centre, where they are still being very strict.
On top of that my son and his girlfriend flew to Rome today. Now I know their figures are much better than ours and they’re much stricter, but that doesn’t stop me worrying. That’s the nature of anxiety.
I’m ok going for dog walks with either my daughter or my friend and generally being in the open air. There’s so much talk recently about how bad the second wave is going to be (if it happens). So I’m going to try and not watch so much news.
I haven’t been down to see my mum in Plymouth yet , now we’re allowed. But I’m still quite apprehensive about visiting her, even though she’s been out and about a bit.
So, I think for the time being, while I’m dealing with my anxiety and try to get my blood pressure down ( I’m not on meds, but will be if it doesn’t go down a bit! Another worry!), I’m going to just post photos with a word or two accompanying them. I’ll also get round to reading other people’s blogs too.
So, I’m counting down the days until my son comes home on Saturday. I’ll then be counting the 14 days after that, just in case. I’m taking time to try and relax, doing more crafting and going to bed at a decent time. I eat healthily anyway and also exercise regularly, which is good. It’s just a case of trying not to worry about things I can’t control and learning to chill again.
Sorry this is a bit of a dismal post, but thank you for sticking with it! I’ll have a look at my recent photos and post them soon. Cheerio for now, Ann x
I know how you feel! I preferred the lockdown period to what we have now! It's as if the virus has all gone away now, the way some people act. Every little thing seems to worry me at present!! Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, yes some people are obviously feeling very different to us!
DeleteI'm really sorry you're feeling like this, Ann...I too struggle with anxiety so I do understand how debilitating it is. Be kind to yourself, it sounds like you're doing all the right things to help, but it's ok to not be ok all the time. Thinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sooze, anxiety is a horrible thing, but understanding it is half the battle :)
DeleteOoh, that's tough to handle. I feel for you and hoping things work out for the better. Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Chris, I’ll be tons better once my son is home, I think :)
DeleteIt's difficult not to worry when we are bombarded with bad news all the time - what MIGHT happen could be completely different to what actually happens.
ReplyDeleteDo whatever you feel comfortable with is my plan.
Worrying about children is what Mums do - when my lot were doing something that worried me, they'd say "don't worry" and I'd say "it's a Mums job - it's what we do best!"
Hope you have a sunny day today
You’re so right, Sue, on all counts! Well, I’ve done my Joe Wicks exercise for the day, which gives me a boost, but think the sun is having a grey duvet day today, haha.
DeleteAll perfectly normal and I am feeling much the same myself - though I don't have a son holidaying in Italy. The first couple of months of full Lockdown I was happy and very productive. Now it has gone on and on (I'm in Wales) and our releases into the "real world" have been very slow in coming, but have saved many lives, I'm sure. BUT, although we have walked locally, the thought of actually going into a shop again (I and my husband are Shielding) doesn't fill me with joy, only anxiety. In Lockdown we could hide away, now we have to try and confront our fears.
ReplyDeleteI did - only because it was totally EMPTY at the time - get some fresh fruit and veg from the big greengocery warehouse outside town. I had disposable gloves on and a high-grade surgical mask, so felt reasonably safe. It will be a long time before I can venture into Aldi though . . .
As Sue said, we are bombarded with bad news and that is SO depressing and worrying. I find walking is the best treatment for all my worries as I can resolve them but then I get a black day and just have to try and get through it.
You’re so right about hiding away. I was quite happy for my little trips to the farm shop, as they were so good on how many were allowed in the shop and their trolley/basket cleaning etc. was very good.
DeleteNot having the news on a lot during the day definitely helped today :)
Worrying is normal, it is hard not to worry. I am glad that its summertime and that I have a garden-- working outside, walking, or sitting with a book give me peace. I wish you well. I am in Winnipeg, our counts are really good. However, looming over us is that at some point the border between us and the U.S will open and counts may go up when that happens. I enjoy your blog, I like reading about your baking and your life. Good wishes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your good wishes, Jean. Our garden, my crafting, reading and baking all definitely help. Fingers crossed for you that when the border does open again (hopefully not soon!) that the case numbers remain good for you. I’m so glad you enjoy my blog. I’m quite a newbie, having only been blogging for a year or so :)
DeleteI'm sorry you're struggling just now, Ann. Try to take things each day at a time and go with how you feel. I think many people are finding it more difficult now that the restrictions are being relaxed. X
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jules. Yes, I think it’s the great unknown of how things are going to be isn’t it and it not being within your control. I know that’s certainly the trigger for my anxiety. I am ‘going with the flow’ for the time being :)
DeleteI have been in a constant state of flux since February when our youngest son fell and broke his hip. Then the pandemic hit us mid March which made my going up to help him a series of stringent cleaning and wearing of masks. I think now that people are a bit more relaxed with the opening up of a few rules things just might get bad again very quickly. I am one of a few that still wears a mask and I might even go back to wearing gloves.
ReplyDeleteI hope your son comes back healthy and covid free.
God bless.
Thanks Jackie, I’m sure he will, as things over there are more strict than here, but it’s just a worry isn’t it. You have had an awful lot to deal with! I hope things are a bit easier for you now, with regards to your son :)
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